Legal Issues of Being a LGBT Teen

Being LGBT isn't illegal, but there are some issues that LGBT teens should know about.

Being kicked out Until you are 18 years old, your parents are legally required to provide financial support. If your parents kick you out before you are 18 years old, the Department of Social Services (DSS) can provide you with foster parents or a guardian. Adults, particularly school employees, are ethically required to notify DSS or school authorities if you are at risk due to family situation or substance use.

Running away If you leave home before you turn 18, your parents can legally request you be returned home. PFLAG recommends all teens in non-abusive homes to stay at home until graduation so you don't have added financial worries. But home isn't always a safe or sane place. If you want to live outside of your parents' house, you must ask for legal intervention from the courts to be allowed to remain outside the home. DSS would be able to tell you who to contact to get this process rolling.

Therapy The law says you can receive counseling from both private and school counselors without your parents finding out. That said, some counselors tell parents about sexuality issues so ask your therapist about what they do before you start talking to them. Also, if you are involved in an illegal situation such as physical abuse, all counselors are required to notify the "authorities." Some counselors have a "sliding scale," which means the less money you earn, the less you will be charged. Check Boone Pride's Pink Pages for a list of local LGBT-friendly therapists.

Some families require LGBT teens to get counseling to "turn straight." This is called reparative therapy, and the American Psychological Association and the American Medical Association consider it unethical and ineffectual. (And yes, we have some of these counselors here in the High Country.) Trying to change is dangerous, can hurt you psychically and doesn’t work. If you are being forced to have such therapy, please contact a trusted adult, such as your school counselor, a PFLAG member, or the Department of Social Services, for help.

Dating No, dating isn't illegal. But, N.C. laws govern who may be sexually active with whom. Anyone 19 years old or older who has sexual contact of any nature with someone 15 years old or younger risks jail and a lifelong label of sexual offender. Sexual contact with a 12 year old or younger is "indecency with a child" and sex with a 13 to 15 years old is "statuary rape." Some parents use these laws to break up relationships between their minor children and college students.

It's completely against the law for school employees and student teachers to have sex with students no matter how small the age difference.

School harassment Schools are legally obligated to give all students a safe school environment. You can't learn if you worry about taunts, name-calling, or physical violence by your classmates or teachers. Most WHS school administrators and teachers will help students who are being teased or bullied but YOU MUST FIRST TELL THEM OF THE HARASSMENT!!! If you feel uncomfortable talking to school officials alone, there are other possibilities. You may e-mail school officials, for example. Also, PFLAG members are willing to go with you or speak for you. School administrators are legally obligated to protect students. If you feel that your requests for help are being ignored, there are organizations, such as the ACLU or Lambda Legal Defense, that can back you up in court.

Transitioning To go from female to male or male to female (AKA transition), you must live as your preferred sex for one year while working with a counselor who specializes in "gender dysphoria." To start taking hormones, legally change your name, and undergo sex change surgery, you must be a certain age or have the permission of your parents or guardian. Please don't use hormones without a doctor's supervision. Street and on-line drugs are not always pure or the proper amount.

Several court cases have ruled that students may dress as the other sex under the First Amendment, and Watauga High School administration has been supportive of transgendered students dressing as they wish.

Antijen's pages have additional sources for teens.

Sources of Local Support

Teens face great pressure to conform, a stress multiplied for LGBT teens. Many LGBT teens experience added tension with parents, stemming from confusion or frustration over sexual orientation/gender identity, lack of familial or social support, or because of lies used to hide their identity. Due to this, LGBT teens experience greater levels of depression, substance abuse, dropping out of high school, eating disorders, and suicide attempts than straight teens. There are many LGBT-friendly individuals in the High Country that provide support for teens who are confused or are in difficult situations.

Watauga High School's Open Arms Project is a student-initiated project to show students and school workers who are willing to help anyone in need. In the past, they have escorted to class students who were harassed in the hallways and helped teens who've left home. Open Arms participants are identified by their orange wrist bands.

Watauga High School counselors and the Diversity Club are also a source of assistance and support.

PFLAG meets monthly and has many members willing to meet one-on-one with LGBT and questioning teens as well as yourr parents. PFLAG will also meet with teachers and school administrators on the behalf of teens experiencing problems in school.

Many local churches are open and affirming to LGBT people. Contact Kathy at staleykl1971@yahoo.com for a list.

The Department of Social Services provides protection for teens who are being abused by parents, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. You can get some financial assistance if you who have been kicked out of your home through DSS as well.

Time Out Youth Hickory is a support group for LGBTQ teens ages 13 to 23 years. PFLAG of the High Country is also exploring the possibility of creating a local chat group.

National Organizations and Emergency Hotlines

Trevor Suicide Hotline (A Toll-free National 24 hour Lesbian and Gay Teen Suicide Hotline): 1-866-4U-TREVOR or 1-800-850-8078

Youth Guardian Services, Inc. (A youth-run internet program for LGBTQ and ally teens): www.youth-guard.org

Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (A school-themed group that works to improve public school campus climate): www.glsen.org

Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE) (The only national and international organization in the world specifically supporting young people with gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender parents): http://www.colage.org/

Campus PrideNet (A national online community and resource network committed to student leaders and campus organizations who work to create a safer campus environment free of homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, heterosexism and genderism at colleges and universities.): http://www.campuspride.net/

North Carolina Lambda Youth Network (NCLYN) (A youth-led statewide leadership development network for LGBTA youth, ages 13 to 24.): http://www.nclyn.org/

OutProud (The National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Youth, serves the needs of LGBT youth by providing advocacy, information, resources and support.): http://www.outproud.org